Five Steps to Stop Arguing Forever Without Giving In, Shutting Down, or Walking Away

A lot of people believe that all couples argue and that arguing is actually healthy.  My colleagues and I know plenty of healthy couples who never argue and have very healthy relationships.  These couples may sometimes disagree with eachother, but they

Medical Insurance: Use At Your Own Risk

"I pay good money for my insurance," you say, and you're right.  Either that, or you receive insurance benefits as part of your compensation for your hard work.  So why shouldn't you use it?  Well, it turns out things happen when you use your medical insurance for counseling: things you really should know about.  That way, you can make an informed decision about when and whether to use it--especially for counseling.

Couples Counseling from a Therapist’s Perspective

Couples counseling or marriage counseling is a delicate thing.  It's as though a couple brings you one of the last birds of a beautiful and endangered species--it's the most fragile bird in the world--and they gingerly set it on the love seat in your office.  The bird isn’t even moving.

"Hey, this bird is hurt,” they tell the therapist.  “It's been bleeding for a long time now, and lately it is starting to look like it’s not going to make it.  We’re really scared because this bird has been with us a long time, and we’re not sure what life would be like without it.  That's why we brought it to you.  Can you fix it?"

The Enduring Ember of Love: Reasons for Hope

Is there hope for my relationship?  My colleagues and I are often asked that question and variations of it.  But some people make an appointment with us after they have already decided that there is no hope--that they just have to get out.  Sometimes people aren't even completely aware they've decided this, but they come to counseling already convinced that nothing we can offer can possibly change their minds.  It’s sad when that happens, because if people can find just a little hope, and work hard to get rid of the negatives in the relationship, the love can often come back as strong as ever.

Is Happiness Overrated?

Some people say we place too much emphasis on Happiness.  I've sat and talked with stoic people who think that happiness is a selfish and shallow goal, and there seems to be some scientific evidence for that*.  Psychology professor and writer William Schultz also thinks happiness may be overrated.  In a recent publication for Psychology Today he wrote, that he couldn't complain about the times he's been happy, but thinks he'd "rather be other things more."  I have to disagree.